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| Celine is recalling her first sexual feelings when a guy just told her that he liked her.
"'...I have a big crush on you.' Yeah, it really scared the hell out of me, because I thought he was so fine. And then he officially asked me out on a date, and you know I pretended I didn't like him. You know I was, I was so afraid of what I might do, you know." - Celine in Before Sunrise
I wonder how many people have had this experience. You would think that there are only even numbers in this statistic, but I can't even tell you how many times I have repeated this conversation in my mind.
Will this happen to me (again) at age 25? I say again in parentheses because I don't really know if it ever happened to me. Did someone lie to my face due to fear, fear of the unknown? It is a unspoken rule that I cannot ask a girl why she didn't like me. It is similar to asking the interviewer why you didn't get the job. There is a strong stench of desperation and need. It is pathetic. I am pathetic. Waiting for the unknown. I have waited 25 years and we will see if I can wait another x days/weeks/months/years/decades.
"You're afraid that I won't love you back! Fuck it, I wanna give it a shot! At least I'm honest with you." - Skylar in Good Will Hunting
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
I wonder if I am going insane.
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| 1 - If I were just curious, it would be hard to say to someone, "I want to come to your house and have you talk to me and tell me the story of your life." I mean people are going to say, "You're crazy." Plus they're going to keep mighty guarded. But the camera is a kind of license. A lot of people, they want to be paid that much attention and that's a reasonable kind of attention to be paid.
2 - And that's what all this is a little bit about. That somebody else's tragedy is not the same as your own.
4 - That once it's been done, you want to go someplace else.
6 - I didn't want to be told I was terrific.
9 - In the beginning of photographing I used to make very grainy things. I'd be fascinated by what the grain did because it would make a kind of tapestry of all these dots and everything would be translated into this medium of dots... But when I'd been working for a while with all these dots, I suddenly wanted terribly to get through there. I wanted to see the real difference between things... But I wanted to see the difference between flesh and material, the densities of different kinds of things: air and water and shiny. So I gradually had to learn different techniques to make it come clear. I began to get terribly hyped on clarity.
12 - I work from awkwardness. by that I mean I don't like to arrange things. If I stand in front of something, instead of arranging it, I arrange myself.
15 - I never have taken a picture I've intended.
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| CAMP PENDLETON WORLD FAMOUS MUD RUN - EXTRA SAT
JUNE 13, 2009
Fastest 00:42:33
Slowest 02:34:36
Men Age Group 25-29
Place Overall Bib# Name Age Finish
79/209 511/2097 7673 JOHN CHO 25 01:09:48
http://www.y-events.com/09cpmudxiop.htm
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| 10 - Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my life?
16 - My uncle had worked for a corporation and hated it - same thing every day - and I was determined never to end up like him.
27 - For all the time we'd spend together, for all the kindness and patience Morrie had shown me when I was young, I should have dropped the phone and jumped from the car, run and held him and kissed him hello.
Instead, I killed the engine and sunk down off the seat, as if I were looking for something.
"Yeah, yeah," I whispered , and continued my conversation with the TV producer until we were finished.
I did what I had become best at doing: I tended to my work, even when my dying professor waited on his front lawn. I am not proud of this, but that is what I did.
33 - I traded lots of dreams for a bigger paycheck, and I never realized I was doing it.
34 - Are you trying to be as human as you can be?
35 - ...the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it.
42 - They didn't know anyone involved in the case. Yet they gave up days and weeks of their lives, addicted to someone else's drama.
52 - The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in.
57 - I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity.
74 - In his mind he believed he could make the illness go away by ignoring it. How else can a child confront death?
75 - In the evenings, he watched his father eat in silence, hoping for-but never getting-a show of affection, communication, warmth.
92 - This is part of what a family is about, not just love, but letting others know there's someone who is watching out for them.
104 - But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then you can say, "All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."
Morrie stopped and looked me over, perhaps to make sure I was getting this right.
"I know you think this is just about dying" he said, "but it's like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."
105 - I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let loose those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.
111 - And many of these patients were well-off, from rich families, so their wealth did not buy them happiness or contentment. It was a lesson he never forgot.
113 - They were light on what you'd now call "career skills" and heavy on "personal development."
118 - And in addition to all the miseries, the young are not wise. They have very little understanding about life. Who wants to live every day when you don't know what's going on. When people are manipulating you, telling you to buy this perfume and you'll be beautiful, or this pair of jeans and you'll be sexy - and you believe them! It's such nonsense.
123 - We put our values in the wrong things. And it leads to very disillusioned lives.
125 - These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting sort of hug back.
135 - I believe in being fully present... That means you should be with the person you're with. When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what's going on between us.
139 - Morrie looked at the body behind the glass, the body of the man who scolded him and molded him and taught him to work, who had been quiet when Morrie wanted him to speak, who had told Morrie to swallow the memories of his mother when he wanted to share them with the world.
148 - In this culture, it is so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that. But the poor kids today, either they're too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship, or they rush into marriage and six months later, they get divorced. They don't know what they want in a partner. They don't know who they are themselves-so how can they know who they're marrying?
155 - The little things, I can obey. But the big things-how we think, what we value-those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone-or any society-determine those for you.
156 - Look, no matter where you live, the biggest defect we human beings have is our shortsightedness. We don't see what we could be. We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become. But if you're surrounded by people who say "I want mine now," you end up with
164 - Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.
166 - I know they knew about it. Charlotte and I were very hurt because they never called to see how she was. So we dropped the relationship.
182 - Sometimes, when you're losing someone, you hang on to whatever tradition you can.
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| 11 - The weapons I fight with are also my consolations: books, music, food, wine, nature.
20 - I didn't understand him either, but it didn't worry me. I didn't understand myself.
33 - I don't want anyone to look at me, not for protection, not for happiness, not for love, not for anything.
48 - Feel, he told himself, feel, feel, feel. Even if what you feel is pain, only let yourself feel.
56 - My God, we might even succeed in getting rid of Christmas, that annual celebration of parental guilt and juvenile greed.
63 - The whole natural world is one, linked by love, upheld by love, redeemed by love.
123 - Whatever man has done for good or ill has been done in the knowledge that he has been formed by history, that his life-span is brief, uncertain, insubstantial, but there will be a future, for the nation, for the race, for the tribe.
177 - He went through the familiar motions without enthusiasm, almost without interest.
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